Artist: Bill Engvall or Ray Stevens

Christmas Day will not be very merry
Explaining to the children will be hard
Well it's Christmas Eve tonight
And our beagle picked a fight
With some reindeer that were grazing in our yard

I let the dog outside to do his business
I forgot to hook his leash up to the peg
First he and Cupid came to blows
Then he bit Rudolph on the nose
And when I got there he was eyeing Prancers leg


Now I'm getting sued by Santa Claus
He's claiming mental anguish in his case
Yeah, I'm getting sued by Santa Claus
And my kids won't even look me in the face

I tried to throw myself on Santa's mercy
I begged him but I wasn't gettin' thru
I said " it's all your fault you know "
He said " now how can that be so? "
I said " because we got the stupid dog from you!"

Now I'm getting sued by Santa Claus
He's claiming mental anguish in his case
Yeah, I'm getting sued by Santa Claus
And my kids won't even look me in the face

Oh I'm gettin' sued by Santa Claus
He's claiming mental anguish in his case
Yeah, I'm getting sued by Santa Claus
And my kids won't even look me in the face

Yeah, I'm getting sued by Santa Claus
Now I'm bunkin' with the beagle at his place

Spoken: Couldn't we just settle out of court?